Then the rabbit turned around

This is a pamphlet, a chance to set the record straight. I HATE YOU. And here’s why :

But first let’s use some non linear narrative, (at least I was polite enough to warn you)
If you’re the kind of bullshit artsy kind of person who thinks that something’s brilliant just because it doesn’t make any sense, you should probably stop reading this cause I’m gonna insult you, your mom and your pet furret, if however, you are the kind of person who strongly believes that people wearing rabbit suits and watching TV is weird then you can keep on reading:
David Lynch thinks he’s better than you. Before we go any further, I’d like to say that I think Dune is a pretty good film, and I liked Blue Velvet, I also know that the aforementioned rabbits allegedly used to be human and lead a peaceful life in some kind of figurative/ symbolic purgatory.
But David Lynch is currently making fun of you in his pool because he knows that there is absolutely no explanation for what he puts on your screen. To prove my point I will know write about some guy having breakfast in a dinner in LA and dropping dead when he sees a yeti lookalike jump out of a garbage can.
Some guy is having breakfast in a dinner in LA and drops dead soon after when he sees a yeti lookalike jump out of a garbage can.
You see that’s weird, or to be more specific, it’s pointless, explanation less and bull full. But we’re alright the next scene will probably a soft core lesbian porn one.
I feel bad because as I write this essay I realize that it lacks structure. I go from one thing to another without ever explaining clearly my train of thought. The good news is that I’m gonna move things around so that when you’ll read it, dear reader, it will makes sense. Maybe Mr. Lynch should learn to do that as well.
Anyway, I’m not really mad at David Lynch, the guy is obliviously on another level and that’s good that he found an outlet to express himself. The people I’m mad at are the idiots who think they’re better than I because they believe that they understand Inland Empire or MD. I don’t think my IQ is below average, so don’t try to explain that I don’t get that Mulholland Drive is a dream and reality and a movie in a movie itself in some drug filled mise en abyme, all of that in a weird order where Naomi Watts is either called Diane or Betty. No that’s just a lie, what you understood is what I understood; meaning … nothing. And that’s my real point. I’m a snob, and I gladly admit, as it has become cool to snobby. Posh is the new black… but THIS IS NOT ART. Causing confusion is not genius; it’s just causing confusion, so stop pretending, and go see a real movie. If you want to feel intellectual, go watch Citizen Kane and admit that the cinematic logorrhea that Lynch was kind enough to share with the world is everything but art. In fact I’d also like you to admit that Die Hard is about a thousand times better than Inland Empire, especially the 3rd one.

Right now David Lynch is laughing, I would too. I would love to be able to drive to work on Monday with no idea what I am about to do and make it up as I go along, all of that while getting paid quite nicely and being nominated for some Academy Awards. I don’t hate him for it, I rather hate you, dear reader for thinking that what he does is more than what a 3 y/o high on crack would do.

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